OK, OK...so maybe being single and "fabulous" is over-rated.
I turned 24 on Sunday and one of the reoccurring thoughts in my mind was...my sister was married when she was 24 and had her first child when she was 25. Now why would I put myself through that type of mental torture on a day that is suppose to be a joyous celebration of your life? There really is no true answer to that question. I guess I'm just crazy.
But I'm sitting here thinking of all the guys in my life who could have been potential "the one's", then I laugh to myself and think, there was never and has never been the one. I would have been settling for a storybook temporary happiness which would have left me regretting being with "the one" i settled for.
This probably sounds crazy to say, but I've actually had guys I've dated not just introduce the idea of marriage, but flat out tell me that they want to get married...to me. There's been no ring involved or sob story of a man on his bended knee but I've had the proposition presented to me on more than one occasion.
For example, I was out on Sunday night with my ex boyfriend. He and I dated for 4 1/2 years. I would describe my relationship with him crazy, exciting, and dangerously in love. We had our share of ups and downs as high school sweethearts. We cheated on one another and things even got physical when we would fight. But we were young. Kids, in love and didn't even know how to handle all of those emotions.
Anyway, we've been broken up for about 2 years now and we are able to remain friends. And by friends I mean we were acting like we were in a relationship with one another without the title, off and on since we broke up. Probably not the healthiest thing to do with someone you care that deeply about but you know, you live and you learn.
Well last night was the first time I had seen him in about 3 months. We went to a bar for a drink, and he was all over me. But for once I had no interest in him, or in the charades we had been playing for damn near 6 years. All I could think about was all the potential relationships I would be missing out on if I gave in to his "Whitney, I love you and your so beautiful" compliments. He even had the nerve to tell me that in 2014 we would get married. I'm thinking what the hell, that's four years from now. He must have to get all his 'partying' out of his system before he can truly commit. Whatever the case, I wasn't interested in the least bit.
When I got home I just thought about all my what ifs. What if I stayed with my ex playing his peek-a-boo game in my life. What if I end up alone. Should I just settle for comfort?
But of course like a smart woman, I'm waiting for the man who has no doubt in his mind that I'm it. I'm waiting for the man who knows that being without me would be like being without breath. I'm waiting for the man who doesn't just flirt with commitment by propositioning me with the idea of marriage.
Actually I'm anticipating the sob story. The bended knee. The ring...The happy ending.